Saturday, August 28, 2010

Drake and Nicki Minaj Tweet Marriage - LeBron James Disappointed

To preserve some semblance of integrity as a writer, I welcome my faithful readers who don't think I'm a homophobic bigot back to the wonderful world of parenting. For those interested in the truth about Drake and Nicki Minaj, please scroll down to new "Headline Hunters" section of this blog. You won't be disappointed. For those with more time and sentimentality to read about my wonderful, almost ten month old daughter AND Hollywood gossip - scroll as you read.

When last I sincerely wrote about Amari, she had begun childcare on Mondays and Fridays. She has now been three times, and each time we pick her up she appears more comfortable. When I arrived on Monday she offered a brief whine until she was in my arms where she buried her face in my chest with simultaneous hugs and giggles. Just that moment was worth the forty bucks. On Friday, however, when I walked in (granted I was wearing a brand new San Francisco Giants hat) Amari was sitting comfortably in Teresa's lap being thoroughly entertained by the rest of the kids in the living room. I waited for the cry and the rapid crawl into my arms. Instead, I got a look akin to "'Sup, Dad?"

On the home front, Carrie and I try to squeeze as much quality time in with Amari as possible. On the days we both work, that time is limited to about an hour in the morning and maybe three more in the evening. It's sad for both of us, and we're discussing the possibility and practicality of me taking a sabbatical from work and focusing on parenting. It already feels like Amari is growing up so fast and this age feels so precious and important. I love my job, but like I said the other day, being Amari's dad is the most competent I've ever felt.

Developmentally, Amari appears to be on the cusp of both walking and talking. This morning she was rattling off new sounds - not just the typical "Bah, bah, bah," that can mean anything from "bottle" to "cat" to whatever mom and dad are singing in the front of the car. Cognitively, she clearly understands language. When I say, "What do we do with bottles," she starts to shake her arm up and down, "Shake-a, shake-a, shake-a," we'll say. This morning she blew my mind by picking the picture of a cat out of a line up of four images we pulled from a mobile when I said, "Which one is a cat?" Just to make sure she's a genius I put four new images and asked, "Which ones a baby?" and she picked the correct card without hesitation. I think she's ready to be a CSI or Law & Order baby detective.

Speaking of her budding acting career, she and I have made yet another short film, this one a musical montage chronicling the growing friendship between her and our first child, Penny. If you have three minutes, check it out - but not before you read the latest FYI Gossip

Movie Link:

Headline Hunters: Drake and Nicki Announce Marriage

The latest in a long line of talentless pop culture relationships culminated yesterday in the official, romantic, Tweeted announcement that Drake and Nicki Minaj are in fact getting married. Nicki provided the tantalizing, lead-in, tweeting, "U scurred? @drakkardnoir u ready to make the announcement or wha?" The always smooth Drake replied, "Baby I am never scared. PROUD is more the word I would use," assuming she was tweeting about her upcoming fourth grade spelling equivalency test she was about to take. After clearing up the misunderstanding Drake added, "Please refer to @nickiminaj as Mrs. Aubrey Drake Graham and dont stare at her too long. She's finally mine. :)," to which Nicki replied, "How cum I get u stewpid first name?"

Hip hop heads and unemployed US Weekly readers alike have been speculating endlessly about this couples behind the scenes relationship since Drake's "Miss Me" single where he sings, "I love Nicki Minaj/ I told her I'd admit it/ I hope one day we get married just to say we f---ing did it/ And girl, I'm f---ing serious/ I'm with it if you with it/ 'Cause your verses turn me on, and your pants are mighty fitted."

How do fans read between the lines?

After this profane, ambiguous verse, Drake goes on to sing, "Nicki, let's get hooked now/so my Twitter page ain't boring/I'm gonna spank your booty hard/when I get back from touring/Girl I f---ing mean it/you're my Carlton f---ing Ritz/I love the way you rhyme shit/And I love your f---ing tits."

Awwww. Cute.

Now, just a few short months later, it's clear this romantic gesture did not fall on deaf ears. Following in the footsteps of the likes of Fergie and Josh Duhamel, Pink and Carey Hart, Madonna and whoever she's with these days, Drake and Nicki M became the most popular one-name/two-name union Hollywood has seen in over a year. Asked about these comparisons Nicki Minaj said, "Who's Madonna?"
then went on to say, "Just kidding. I'm totally religious."

In a side story, Drake's close personal friend and financial advisor, LeBron James, was very disappointed in the hip hop star's announcement. LeBron had spent the better part of a week encouraging Drake to invite ex-girlfriend Hott Pink and any other recent courters to a Boys and Girls Club to make his marriage announcement during a one-hour, prime-time special. LeBron now intends to keep this idea to himself in case things with long-time girlfriend, Savannah Brinson, go south - like to South Beach.

Peace out parenting blog readers and Headline Whores. Remember - If it ain't real, it ain't worth writing about. I'm experimenting with catch phrases. Please submit your suggestions in the "Comments" section below. Thanks for reading.

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