Thursday, March 3, 2011

Charlie Sheen Does Cocaine During Interview

Am I soliciting traffic again with fake headlines? Absolutely. Why not? I'm celebrating my 100th blog entry today and I'm seventy-one cents shy of earning my first hundred Adsense dollars, which - like Charlie Sheen - makes me feel very "bi-winning." For those of you who have not seen this interview, enjoy the hell out of it.

And then, if you're like me, marvel sincerely at the following miracles:

a) Charlie Sheen is still alive.
b) People still talk to him.
c) "Two and a Half Men" has been on the air for EIGHT seasons.

It's amazing what having an unlimited supply of cocaine can do for your social and vocational networks. 


In celebration of my 100th blog entry, I fell fast and hard from my pink cloud of parenting. In a conspiracy of forces that included a return to work for Mama, a 48 hour bug for Dada, and a bursting bottom left molar for Amari, Monday through Wednesday felt like some twisted initiation into toddlerhood. My patience and tolerance and energy level all drop dramatically when I'm sick, and although I think I'm pretty good at containing my complete exasperation, I secretly want to scream things like "Learn some fucking words," when Amari is whining incoherently and vaguely pointing at things while saying, "Mo, mo, mo." Mo what? Jesus. Instead, I just pick her up and say, "I'm sorry you're hurting," blah, blah, blah. 

I used to think "Mo" was pretty much the best word Amari could learn, defining the world by things she does and does not want additional amounts of. Especially when she learned the reinforcement word, "Yeah." I figured we had it made. I'm feeding her, I pause, she says, "Mo," I ask, "This?" she says, "Yeah," life's pretty sweet. Now I see very clearly that "Mo" without a pointer stick or a mood ring that lets  me know if she's talking about food, music, videos, etc. I know vocabulary is coming son, but according to this dad during this week - not soon enough. 

In addition, Amari is becoming aware of workday mornings mean, and is increasingly clingy with Carrie as we approach our departure time. This, of course, breaks Carrie's heart - and she's already an emotional wreck trying to teach the bottom of the barrel seniors who are failing at about an eighty percent clip. Scary what our future holds. Moral of the story - tensions have been a little high here at FishManor

It's funny, here I am complaining about how clingy Amari has been, but over the weekend I was lamenting how fast she is growing up. At my friend's 40th birthday, there were kids between the ages of three and eight running around without a care as to who or where their parents were. Amari was interested, stepping close to the action from time to time, but maintained a pretty close distance to Carrie or me at all times. It occurred to me that at Bodhi's 41st birthday, she'll be running around with the rest of them. It made me kind of sad. 


On a side note, before I close this entry - it freakin' snowed on the Mendocino Coast. Inland sure, a little every year on the ridges, but here - at sea level? Hasn't happened in twenty-five years. In fact, a woman at the Botanical Gardens told me that the last time it snowed here there wasn't a single roll of film left in town. Here's the exciting video footage. It's almost as crazy as Charlie Sheen.

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