Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mom's Day

Since my mother passed away a few years ago, I've jokingly scoffed at friends scampering about for last minute Mother's Day gifts. "Yup," I'll say, "Don't have celebrate that one anymore." I've been saying the same thing about Grandfather's Day since I was five and First Puppy Run Over by a Dog Day since before kindergarten, so I'm pretty used to it. Generally, my dark humor is met with an envy-filled uncomfortable silence. This year, however, no sooner had the words left my lips, than I realized the uncomfortable silence was not with regards to my dead mother, but rather the very much alive daughter in my arms and the furrowed brow of the woman who mothers her daily.

Oh yeah. Never mind. I love Mother's Day.

I actually did put together a little collage for Carrie last year with pictures of our cats, Penny and Odie, along with the twenty week sonogram picture of Amari. On the top of the page it said "First Annual Future Mother of the Year Award." Yes - the occasional romantic gesture still manages to surface from beneath my suffocating, eye-rolling cynicism at Hallmark holidays. Fortunately, Carrie's on the same page. In fact, had it not been for Mexican take out and an extra episode of Mad Men, today would have passed much like any other.

Nonetheless, I would like to take a moment to acknowledge this day because Carrie is a new mother. Not only that, but she is a first year teacher, a fourth year wife, a ninth year committed partner, and a thirty-one year-old superstar. She was recently walking with a friend who was admiring her ability to balance these various parts of her life, and when she came home she confessed to me that she didn't feel like she was being a very good wife.

I hadn't once felt that way. I've never once compartmentalized her roles and kept score. She is an exceptional partner in my life - historically a girlfriend, a fiancee, a wife, but now a mother, and a damn good one. I'm pretty sure she's much better at this than she thought she would be, that her fears have turned out to be completely soluble in moment-to-moment demands of parenting.

Carrie, you deserve to be acknowledged every day. I probably won't do that, but please know that I love and appreciate you all the time. Happy Mom's Day.

On a side note, two things happened recently which, although entirely independent in time, may actually combine to make this blog much more interesting.

1. When I recently asked Carrie if I could post certain pictures she said, "Whatever," which I translated as somewhere between "Go ahead" and "I'm tired of arguing about this."

2. While Carrie was catching up on this blog recently she said, "Uhg. There's a lot of text," which I interpreted as somewhere between "I've been so selfish for not reading your thoughts about parenting religiously" and "I wish there were more pictures...or even VIDEOS."

I'm a pretty good translator of subtext - mostly because of the huge amount of text I apparently write about raising our child, so I'm going to err on the side of more photos...or even VIDEOS. I hope this works. This was a one minute clip of what a loving relationship Carrie has formed with our daughter.

Enjoy. More pictures soon.

Happy Mother's Day everyone.

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